Food for thought

Six years ago I graduated from university.
When deciding what I wanted to study one thing was very clear to me: I had to pick something that I would really enjoy, otherwise I wouldn't be able to stay focused and motivated for four more than four years.
I chose to study English language & culture and later narrowed it down to contemporary English literature. Thankfully it was the right choice. I enjoyed it immensely and was lucky enough to find myself at the best English faculty in the country (at least at that time).
I certainly wasn't a great student, but for the amount of time I put in, I wasn't bad either. All went well until I had to write my dissertation. Alone at the computer without structure... it wasn't a good situation for me. Of course, it didn't help that we got married, moved house and had a baby all in the same year that I was supposed to write my dissertation. At my graduation my tutor in his speech said that it had been a double labour for me and it truly was. I handed in the final version of my dissertation on the 6th of June 2001, early next morning my waters broke and a couple of hours later I was a mother. From student life to parenthood in 24 hours... it was a crazy time. When I came to pick up my diploma my 3-weeks old daughter came along (and behaved perfectly).

Anyway, as I said I'm so glad I chose to study English literature. I learned SO much then and I know it's a basic knowledge that I'll always carry around with me and will be useful in whatever I do. I've never had a career in mind when I was studying and I definitely don't think it's a "shame" that I don't use my education in the kind of work I do now as so many people have told me over the years. Our decision to have children young is more important than any kind of respect or money we could have earned with another kind of job. Besides, I believe that having fun at what you do and being valued for who you are, is what matters most in a job.

I wanted to tell you about the lecture I went to on Friday, but instead I wrote all this. I also wanted to ask you whether you too have the feeling sometimes that you're getting less intelligent as you're getting older/since you've had children. Any ideas on that are very welcome, but I'm just too tired to think anymore right now ;)) This will be continued, though...

The photos are from today. We've enjoyed the warmest and loveliest April Sunday possible!

Comments

[hannah]

Wow, I am impressed at your labour/dissertation story, mine was written speedily in 10 days from start to finish, and the day before handing it in I travelled overnight to london heathrow and back in a minibus to collect my husband (boyfriend then) and his band, who were returning from 5 weeks in America. I do think something happens as we get older or have children, I think it is the children, or maybe just that we are using our brains differently. I look back over my university work now and think 'wow, did I write that??!!!'
For me, as i think is the same for you, now is the time for being with my children and being there for them, sharing moments and all the little things with them.

[Kim (Ragged Roses)]

Hello - I definitely feel my brain is getting more addled! I think we just use our brains in a dfferent way now. I too did a language degree (French) and have wondered if I've used it properly but I know that I gained a lot at University and that experience has not been wasted.
Isn't this weather wonderful!
Kim x

[Ash]

I think it's all the sleepless nights, plus that we just have less to talk about because we never get to finish a sentence! In my house it's all 'It's *my* turn to talk now!' and then we wait to hear about how Spongebob Squarepants actually does play with his piemel...

It will come back in time... (the IQ I mean). Probably around the time that our grandchildren are due ...

[Felicia]

LOL That baby held off coming out until they had the all clear!

I spent years in school achieving three degrees. When I finally finished it was such a relief to not HAVE to read something that I didn't read much. Then about six months after finishing I discovered fiction. What's this, I asked myself. It had been so many years since I'd read any that I had to remind myself how much I'd enjoyed it as a kid. Now I can't get enough of it and I prefer it many times over nonfiction as a means to relax. So to answer your question, yes, I guess I feel a little less informed now that I'm older and read much less nonfiction. But overall I am happy that I got my education and I'm happy that I'm able to enjoy fun reading now.

[beki]

I definitely use my brain differently now. It's more about logistics and problem solving, but I do find that I crave using my brain in other ways. I think this is why crafting and my artistic endeavors are so appealing to me.

[kirsten]

(our daughters have the same birthday! except mine was june 7, 2000!)

i do feel like i've lost brain cells - and my kids keep me feeling scatterbrained quite often.

however... watching (and joining in) their natural curiosity is amazing, and researching a topic with a child makes me feel like i'm continuing my education. also watching our public tv stations.

[Ellen]

Very thought-provoking words. I gained a BFA in textile design and got married 1 week later. Needless to say my marriage was/is more important than a career. I've never officially 'used' my degree for pay and there are moments I wrestle with conflicting emotions about it. My husband says that I have used and brought creativity to all aspects of life - cooking, crafting, raising children, homeschooling (boy, that's a good way to keep up brain cells and learning! No getting 'less' intelligent here.), etc. I suppose he's right - just need to convince myself at times.

[melissa]

thank you for this post- it's something i often think about, too..
i think that since i became pregnant with my first child, i have been less 'intelligent' in a university-book-smart sort of way. But I haven't actually tried to write an essay since then, so maybe it's more a matter of being out of the practice of thinking/interacting with books and writing. I have found though, that since being pregnant and having children, I've had a surge of creative energy, and have such a different perspective on life. I wouldn't change it for anything.

p.s. i love those photos of your family in the sunlight!